SOCIAL DISCRIMINATION : GET REAL ... SOON

 

In the media recently been the news on incidents of Muslim youths denied employment or residence ; regardless of points of merit , since media channels have become more entertainment than news channels , this is a juicy matter for TRPs  . These days on TV news channels you find more ‘ debates ‘ than news  --- debates which are uncontrolled shouting sprees without a purpose or a conclusion

So was this time another aimless debate on this topic which I happened to watch today . That these channels , in their relentless pursuit of TRPs , give easy platform to various political dispensations to highjack any topic to paint the other side black , without any commitment to cause concerns me ; but what affects me more is the hypocratic , consciously superficial discussions on topics related to religion ,more so when it is about what gets referred to as ‘ minorities ‘ …. Instead of grappling with the truth it turns into a competition to speak ‘ politically correct ‘ language . My concern is that such superficial talks do not help bridge the gap ; they actually perpetuate the drift .

Here are my heartfelt observations and reflections

# Merit point in this case is very clear & beyond doubt . Discrimination of any kind is not just unconstitutional for us , but it is immoral & inhuman …. Whatever be the considerations , there is no justification & the guilty be punished … Period . It does not even need a debate to conclude that this is how it should be

# The larger & even worser point is that India is a country of discriminations across various parameters … caste , creed , religion , skin colour , language , geography , economic class & the worst monster of all : Politico – Criminal class v/s the Aam Aadami  . The even larger point is that it seems intrinsic to Human race to discriminate … seems compulsive and almost genetic characteristic of the human race …. Take a look around the world , if it is not one kind of discrimination , it will be another ; the moment you get rid of one cause human mind finds a new cause to discriminate , because no one wants to be ‘ a part of the crowd ‘ … everybody wants to be ‘ apart from the crowd ‘ & hence compulsively searches a new parameter for discrimination . This relentless urge to be ‘ one up ‘ from others will deter human race from being ‘ one ‘  ; the moment you douse one fire , there is another eruption .

# Hence to take every opportunity to generalize everything to religious platform & get into ‘ Hindu Bashing ‘ … because it comes cheap & sounds politically correct is very unfortunate . It does not help reduce the divide , it only serves nefarious purpose of antisocial elements and some zealot religious organizations who have malafide ‘ strategic ‘ agenda against India . Why play into their hands ?

# While without a question & without a second thought , the guilty in this case must be punished & every such case be arrested ; we should not get too carried away with certain political agenda to drift into superficial exchange of words without addressing the root cause

# In medical treatment , while it is urgent to handle symptomatic relief for immediate purpose , the disease is cured only when one treats the root cause , armed with a proper diagnostic analysis . In these cases of social discrimination against Muslims , unless we ask ourselves as to what is causing this unacceptable behavior , we will be condemned with speaking superficially & nothing will fundamentally change even with punishments … after all how many bodies can we punish , without addressing & cleansing the minds ?  

# Is this happening because Hindus are doing it purposely but without a reason , are they consciously targeting Muslims , because there is a generic , wide spread religious agenda in driving away Muslims . Quite honestly it does not appear to me , there is if at all evidence against such a hypothesis … other wise the same ( Hindu ) community wouldn’t have madly loved some of Icons – who were Muslim by religion across field of Art / Music / Movies / Culture / Sports . Hindus have never had qualms of humming Hindi film songs with words like Allah or align sounding Urdu words – such things will never happen in Pakistan , Hindus have had no qualms of worshipping some Muslim pilgrimage places . In fact , India – with majority Hindus is probably the only place on Earth where there are instances of non –Hindus occupying highest posts across fields , with so overwhelming regularity . I do not know a single country with this magnitude … do you know ?

# It should therefore be important & interesting to ask & know , when it comes to social transactions that we find instances of discrimination , because unless we find out why , we will never be able to resolve it permanently .

# It is important that we scientifically research the factors , but for now , based on my exposure & understanding , let me hazard a guess . I feel it is the deep seated distrust & fear that causes the suspicion & the divide . At least knowing the psychographics from ‘ this side ‘ I can say that Hindus have deep fear of Muslims coming from the deeper ‘ memories ‘ of atrocities brutality from the then Muslim invaders . However what adds suspicion fuel to this is the neo terrorism , claimed to be a religious cause by their perpetrators . I think Hindus fear & avoid either living around Muslim localities or passing through ( like how Behrampada in Bandra East become in riot times ) The fast spreading , religious based terrorism has only increased the divide and added Suspicion to Fear . And while people involved or related to terrorism may be a minor % of the total community , since you can not make out by the looks as to who is linked to terrorism & who is not , the mind over simplifies the matter by avoiding a particular community 100 % . And when Hindus see no attempt being made by Muslim scholars & religious leaders to turn Muslim youths back from straying on the wrong path , it does not help to reduce distrust which prompts the mind to the primitive thinking of avoiding everybody from Muslim community when it comes to close dealing

# If even if a trace of what I’m guessing is true , has anyone tried to understand & address this issue … which could actually be the core issue . Has anyone made any attempt to reduce the trust deficit & help cleanse the minds . Has any body from the Muslim community shown the courage & character to stand up against terrorism in the name of religion & worked to turn the tide … How on earth then we expect weak minds of a lay man to show courage not to discriminate

# And if we do not ( want to ) address the core issue how would minds transform by punishing more bodies ; we may continue to speak superficially on this matter , but then nothing will change ; it may just get worse . The choice is ours ! 

Are we a NATION … or an unruly crowd of self gratifying individuals

• There is a difference between a cohesive group and a group of unconnected individual

• Currently our ( money focused ) greed has much driven a wedge between us as individuals & also between individuals & the nation . Since we are grossly engrossed in maximizing self advantage at the earliest and at the exclusion of everything else …. Everything else seems to have been diluted to an extent of apparent irrelevance …it’s like when we drive on the  road , as if either the road belongs to us or that there is no one else using the road at that time 

• We have not only lost touch with reality , but lost connection with our community , our nation – even losing connectivity with self ( absolute no Self –Awareness )

• We are living on the ‘ surface ‘ in a ‘ fast food ‘ mentality --- an absolute superficial life ,with no depth . GREED makes us purely transactional with no sense of Purpose . There is hence no ‘ Greater cause ‘ in life , there is no  ‘ National agenda ‘   , we are moving disjointedly in different directions – often at cross purposes . Since national objective can not be best served by individuals independently maximizing advantage ; there is so much dilution of National direction , pride and purpose & it invariably results in dissipation of resources / energy 

• People driven by money lose purpose immediately & money too eventually ; where as money follows those who are driven by purpose . The sad part is that this simple irony of life is missed on those who lose their self –awareness to GREED .

• My friends , we don’t need to be awaken by external disasters to get us together to respond ; just our individual and collective awareness can galvanise us into a ‘ wholesome ‘ coherent body of being for a greater cause of Nation Building – You only need to Wake Up !

Vaalya to Rishi Valmiki -- Coaching Journey of Life

To me , Naradmuni is World’s first & most Pioneering Coach who made a profound impact on world history with one of his most talked about human transformations – which turned Vaalya , the roadside dacoit to Valmiki who went on to become one of the most revered Sages , who wrote Ramayan .  :

o    For the lesser initiated on the matter , here goes the story :

§  Vaalya used to loot / kill unsuspecting passers by in Jungle as his way of earning & feeding self & family . One day Naradmuni happened to pass by , when Vaalya caught him & asked for money . Naradmuni said ‘ I have nothing on me that can serve your purpose – you’ll be wasting your time on me ‘ . He asked Vaalya as to why is he doing all these supposedly wrong things – looting / robbing  , killing . Vaalya had a quick reply – “ I do it for my family “ , he said . This is when in a typical Coaching approach , Naradmuni asked him if he thinks , whether this is what his family too expects from him . Without hesitation , Vaalya replied in affirmative . Naradmuni challenged Vaalya to check out with the family if they too think so . When Vaalya asked his family , to his surprise he found out that none of his family members was either supportive of his ‘ profession ‘ or wanted to be a partner in his ‘ sin ‘ .

§  This brought in the realization . He was not only in his self created illusion ( about what he felt his family wants ) but he realized the irrelevance of what he was doing . The impact of that awareness was such that it brought about almost 180 degree transformation from a dacoit to a Sage …. The rest is history , as he went on to write Ramayan .

o    I find very high relevance of this story today . If I liken us with Vaalya , I’m sure most of us would feel outraged … I most certainly don’t mean to refer to anyone as Vaalya in literal sense ( as a roadside robber ) However the zeal with which I see many of us work single mindedly to amass material wealth , the speed with which I see greed replacing need as the driver in life and the amazing route we are taking where Money , at the exclusion of everything else , is becoming the Purpose of Life ( PoL ) scares me to think which way are we heading . And on top of it , when I see most of us ( sincerely ) believe that the single minded pursuit of material wealth at the cost of health , family time & purity of soul is guided by our concern for the family --- this is what we are doing “ for the family “  …… no other analogy hits me better than that of Vaalya’s self created illusion of what he thought his family wanted .

o    In a way hence , I see that many of us in our lust for money have lost touch with both reality & life . Like Vaalya we have become “ awareness blind “ … we are in dire need for a Naradmuni coach in our life to bring in a larger awareness about priorities in life …. If that helps here are some self soul searching questions :

o    What do I want from life  , What will bring real joy to me and my family

o    What do my spouse , my children really need from me

o    What is the best gift I can give to my family ,  What is that can really make difference to their life

o    What is the best inheritance I can plan for my children … if it’s the material wealth , what makes me believe that my children are not as capable as I was in generating this much wealth & more on their own

o    When I retire from active life , what is that one thing I’d yearn for . Looking back from a retired stage , what is that one thing I’d not like to regret

o    While it’s all about awareness , finally it’s your life – your choice . You have to take a call to start your life journey from Vaalya to Valmiki …. The sooner it occurs to you is better for you . You can certainly do it on your own , however should you need me to be your Naradmuni , I’d be more than happy … after all it’s not just my Joy , but also my Job ! 

RESPONSIBLE CELEBRATIONS--HOLI HAI !

It's been in vogue from past 4-5 years , to receive ' Advisory ' messages / mails on how we should celebrate our traditional festivals , Dos / Don’ts , a little ahead of major festivals like Holi , Diwali , Ganesh Chaturthi etc  . Now in a repeat cycle for this year , it's turn of Holi .

Most of the ' suggestions ' in such mails seem logical on the surface and yet when one gets a little deeper than skin the  ' logic ' seems to melt . This got me thinking on the application as also the relevance of such good looking  ' social messages ' ; for some time now . Felt necessary to share my personal reflections with you in this Original mail . My advance apologies for a longer mail : 

Let's look at the Content first :  

Main social message in this years ' Campaign ' is : "  Scarcity of water , especially severe drought in Maharashtra & hence an appeal to not celebrate Holi or celebrate ' dry '   " 

This seems very logical , sensible & highly relevant in the water scarcity context of today . As responsible citizens we need to be sensitive to what is happening around us -- no issues .  In the least what Asaram Bapu was shown doing seems preposterous in Maharashtra context . It was in current circumstances rather inappropriate , can be seen as insensitive & not befitting his public standing . 

Now the Context : 

If the advise on ' how to / how not to ' play Holi this year is driven by concern for water scarcity .... if the central issue is how to conserve / not waste water .... playing responsible Holi is certainly a part of the measure  , but how is Holi the ONLY  & Holistic solution  for water crisis ? How much does ‘ One day ‘  of Holi celebration  “ Waste “ water  ? How much therefore is the ‘ savings potential ‘ by solely concentrating on Holi celebrations at the complete exclusion of any other measure to address drought situation ? … This singular focus is baffling !

Did we hear these protagonist talking about a comprehensive plan to conserve water , of which one measure is ' Responsible Holi ' ... NO .  Did we hear their ideas on avoiding ' wastage ' of water through swimming pools , using bucket for bath v/s shower , RWH efforts ? Did we hear them appealing common consumers to conserve on liquor ( which has 55 % water ) or beer drinking or soft drinks consumption ... which consume water in large quantum & which may not be the priority consumption when some of us are struggling to get daily bucketful of water ? 

How much then is saving / not using water in Holi which is only 1 day in a year , serving the cause of water ( where is the A/B/C of water consumption ) 

Alternatively why is then Holi being focused on for this ' Cause '  . On the other hand if it's not for the ' Water Cause ' , then what is the real reason behind running this ' advisory ' campaign , targeting Holi . This seems to me either ' aimless ' / superficial or motivated .

If we put 2 + 2 together , it appears that the real target is Indian culture . I have been seeing this systematic campaign against traditional celebration of community festivals in a very predictable , repetitive pattern . 

In today's world , Conquests are won not by physical killing but via psychological warfare ... by diluting identity & making one feel guilty of self . British started this during Raj days , where our History was re written , we were told how backward , barbarous we are & made feel ' less than equal ' , inadequate .

I believe there are elements today who are on this task of systematic cultural annihilation  --- targeting a specific community -- which is too gullible & naive & whose minds start crumbling in self doubt at a slightest application of pressure .

That is why when this superficial messages start circulating , many of us fall prey by quickly endorsing  " Me too " 

It's important to be conscious to social context , prevailing circumstances & hence while we should play Holi responsibly , we need not go to another extreme by working on a ' dry ' adaptation of Holi .... there is no point in diluting a celebration to an extent where it loses its identity / purpose or the fun of festivities . What is mutton biryani without mutton in it ? We might as well not eat biryani rather than fooling ourselves .

In sum my response to such ' campaigns ' will be : Be a socially conscious , responsible citizen while celebrating festivals , however also be conscious to ' see through '  any below surface plan & not be gullible to be a pawn in their hands . I'd not like to lose my identity & self respect , while I understand my social responsibility . I will decipher and decide what I need to do -- not just float on the ' advise ' 

OneWorld: DEPENDENCE : CONSTRUCTIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE

OneWorld: DEPENDENCE : CONSTRUCTIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE: # Life is about dependence . There are many examples like friends who  prefer company of friends for most transactions , they do not pref...

DEPENDENCE : CONSTRUCTIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE

# Life is about dependence . There are many examples like friends who  prefer company of friends for most transactions , they do not prefer doing things lone  .Organisation depends on its employees to take its agenda forward , why even a mighty Nation depends on its residents , just to be a NATION . If dependence is barred no collaborative alliances can exist & flourish . In fact in today’s world there is no such concept / person / nation who is 100 % self sufficient , who is not dependent on any one else for something or the other . There is a feel of reassurance in these examples .

# On the other hand , some other examples are : A child’s dependence on parents for many things , before he grows up ; A traditional , non working Indian housewife’s financial dependence on her husband . In these cases the dependent is almost at the mercy of the other person . This dependence does not have a good feel about it .

# Therefore is ‘ dependence ‘ good or bad , is it crippling or reassuring , is it a strength to ‘ depend on ‘ someone or is it a sign of weakness ?  … lets understand it a little more closely .

# Dependence in itself may not be good or bad … depends where is it coming from & importantly where is it taking one  from here on

• In the latter case the dependence is one sided , there is one party who is perceived to be     ( more ) dependent on the other

·         This dependence is more physical / material & is ‘ external ‘

·         This dependence is also about some basic / survival needs

·         In an ‘ unequal ‘ relationship , self esteem of ‘ receiving ‘ party may be at stake

• Dependence in the former case is relatively more mutual than one sided , or at least there is no ‘ hierarchy ‘ in who needs whom more –  neither party can be said to have an upper hand or being subservient to the other .

·         This dependence may go beyond addressing physical / material needs

·         In many cases it’s beyond basic / survival needs . These are likely to invoke feelings of reassurance , emotional support , comfort , confidence , even pride & hence the dependence is likely to be more ‘ internal ‘

# I would categorise the former one as ‘ Constructive ‘ dependence , which is facilitative & the latter one as ‘ Destructive ‘ dependence , which can be crippling & debilitating .

India’s dependence on US in the 60s for Food grains was Destructive dependence whereas the current one is a Constructive dependence

# Constructive dependence is a case where presence of the other entity is reassuring , an advantage ; but its absence is not crippling or a disadvantage . It is a case where you don’t physically / materially need it for you to stand on your own , but it is a warm mental feeling that , should I be in need , there is someone there , who I can fall back on .

# Destructive dependence is a case where without support one is inadequate — things will come to a halt . Destructive dependence is like crutches without which a person may not be able to walk , whereas Constructive dependence is like shoulder of a friend , you can put your hand around while walking on your own & feel good .

In Sum , dependence in itself is not a weakness , it can be your strength . However having an assurance ( or an avenue ) of dependence when you don’t need it , is the best form of dependence . Dependence works best when it’s mutual & building on each other than being helpless to the extent of being at  ’ someone’s mercy ‘    in the other person’s absence . Life’s journey should be to evolve from a position of Destructive dependence ( if at all ) to the Constructive dependence .

However such a state can only be negotiated from a position of strength . Each of the partner in Constructive dependence needs to be independently strong & independent to be able to become each other’s support . A position of weakness can only lead to a Destructive dependence .

But then remember , feeling of ‘ dependence ‘ is more psychological than physical .

How Adequate is Adequate

Adequacy / inadequacy are not physical boundaries but , states of mind ; it depends on what you believe . That’s why what is adequate for one may not be so for someone else , similarly what was adequate today , may not be so tomorrow or vice versa

       What is a good fashion ?… there is no one , all encompassing answer , fitting all . Good fashion for a person is what he / she can carry off comfortably & confidently . That’s why if someone is awkward wearing the most trendiest of clothing , it’s bad fashion for him ; on the other hand if Gandhiji was comfortable moving around in one cloth around his waste , that was most appropriate fashion statement for him .

       What is good / appropriate donation in quantum or form , for a person ? Here too there is no ‘ one size fitting all ‘ , nor is there any absolute threshold . To me that ( amount of ) donation / charity is your threshold , which after you give away , you should be able to ( mentally ) give up . A good donation for you needs to fulfill following criteria :

§  It should not create a feeling of ‘ loss ‘

§  It should not create a sense of ‘ ownership ‘ … it is that amount which should not make you 'follow through ' to see what use the receiver is putting it to … it no longer belonged to you

§  It should not create a sense of inflated ego of having done a huge favour ( & in turn to expect the receiver to be ‘ indebted ‘ to you )

§  It should not create / retain any ‘ attachment ‘ . Your satisfaction / happiness should come from the fact that you did what you wanted to for a good cause , your attachment ended there …. What the receiver does with it is neither under your control nor should be your concern . You should neither have a judgment on how ‘ appropriately ‘ the receiver is using it nor should it make you unhappy , even if you think he/ she is ‘ misusing ‘ your generosity or even is ‘ disrespecting ‘  your gift .

§  Overall once done , you should be able to forget the details of the ‘ good deed ‘ you did . It should not prompt you to flaunt your  ‘ generosity ‘ at any possible forum / opportunity . You should be able to sleep peacefully without a thought about what is / will happen to the object of ‘ your charity ‘ .

§  For any donation / charity where above criteria are not likely to be fulfilled , you are better off without donating .

       Similar is the case for investment . Your capacity to invest is not defined by your affordability or the accumulated wealth , but by your ability to ‘ carry off ‘ the investment in amount & form . That amount is appropriate for you , which after investing ( God forbid not , but should it happen ) if you happen to lose , you should have the capacity to gather yourself up & stand on your feet … you should be able to take that knock without collapsing .

       Finally if you have the nature to help people ( family , friends , colleagues ) by putting in your efforts ; you need to know  , what is your ‘ natural capacity ‘ to help --- to what extent you can go in helping . Here are the criteria :

§  Exert only up to the level you can enjoy doing that work , that it does not become physical or mental burden on you

§  That you can do out of free will & not as a ‘ transaction ‘ or as a ‘ deal ‘ ,not even as an investment … something you’ll not be prompted to measure ROI on

§  That it does not create an expectation of ‘ reciprocity ‘ in your mind ( I did so much for him / her , I should get at least this much back )

§  Your work is an expression of what you desired to do … it’s valuable & fulfillment in itself … not in comparison to someone . The quantum & quality of your work therefore is not influenced by what someone else is doing / not doing in comparison . If / at any point the comparisons are creating discomfort to lose your mental equilibrium , especially creating a feeling of  ‘ unequal ’ work sharing --- at the point work starts becoming a burden instead of joy – you should not extend the help you feel is a load on you .

§  That if that person reciprocates , you feel good for the good nature of that person & not because he / she reciprocated in acknowledgement of your ‘ good work ‘  

§  It should not create / retain any ‘ attachment ‘ . Your satisfaction / happiness should come from the fact that you did what you wanted to for a good cause , your attachment ended there …. How the receiver sees it ,is neither under your control nor should be your concern . You should neither have a judgment on how appropriately the receiver ‘ responded ‘ or whether he / she remembered what you did . In fact , like a good donation , good social work should be invisible . His / her response should not make any difference to your decision to help ,in retrospect.

§  Overall once done , you should be able to forget the details of the ‘ good deed ‘ you did . It should not prompt you to flaunt your  ‘ help ‘ at any possible forum /opportunity . It should not create an overt expectation or a secret yearning for public or private acknowledgment